Whether the papers have just been signed or several months have passed, you may be wondering how to recover from divorce. Divorce is one of the most difficult things to go through and you may be feeling a mixtu...
How to Recover From DivorceSeptember 19, 2018 - Relationship Articles
How to recover from divorce?
Allow yourself to grieve
One of the first steps in how to recover from divorce is to be compassionate with yourself as you heal after the divorce. Give yourself the ability to freely experience your emotions as they come. During this time, you will be morning the loss of your relationship with your partner, promise of a life together and upheaval in how you live.
Vikki Stark, a family therapist, stated, “Initially, you feel like you’re never going to get through because you’re just so turned upside down, but the chaos won’t last forever.” By taking everything bit-by-bit, it won’t feel as overwhelming. It is important accepting that grieving is an important part of this process, but it is only a temporary one.
Build a support system
Isolation is a common emotion felt by divorcees, but you do not need to endure your divorce alone. Building a support system is an excellent means to help you recover from divorce and feel stronger than ever.
Your support system can consist of close friends and family who all want you to succeed. If anyone you know has gone through a divorce, you can ask them what resources they found the most helpful. You can also join a divorce support group that meets in-person or online to seek condolence and empower others in your situation. By surrounding yourself with positive people who energize you, you are actively taking steps towards recovery.
Divorce professionals are also an excellent addition to your support system as they are trained in various aspects of the divorce and healing process. This can include:
- Divorce Therapist: A licensed divorce therapist can be an invaluable resource during this transition in your life. They can provide you with tailored resources on how to better process and heal from your divorce.
- Divorce Finance Professional: Following your divorce, you will likely have financial questions about your new life, such as balancing your assets and planning for the future. A divorce finance professional will guide you through the financial concerns that can arise during divorce and how to conquer them.
- Divorce Coach: A divorce coach is trained in giving emotional and practical support to help you navigate through every step of the divorce process and alleviate potential issues.
Keeping yourself busy is an excellent way to recover from divorce. By staying active, you’ll be taking positive steps towards healing. Psychologist Robert Alberti wrote, “As long as the changes you make are healthy and constructive, these are very appropriate.” You may use this as an opportunity to do things that you had to put aside during your marriage. As you do not need to worry about accommodating a partner, you are free to explore endless hobbies and discover what makes you truly happy.
Activities to take up after divorce:
- Arts: Whether it is poetry, pottery or painting, there are plenty of ways you can get creative inexpensively and around your own schedule.
- Career Development: This can be the time to assess your career and determine how you wish to further develop yourself professionally, be it through higher education, on-site training or specialized lessons.
- Learning: It’s always the perfect time to learn something new, whether it’s a language, style of cooking or building a website.
- Exercise: When you work out you get natural boosts of endorphins, serotonin and confidence. Even if you loathe the gym, you might love bikram yoga, cycling, dance fitness or indoor rock climbing.
- Volunteering: From animal shelters to soup kitchens to tutoring, there are plenty of ways that donate your time to and make a difference in your community.
- Relaxation: Carve out some “you” time each week to stop by a café, get a manicure, indulge in a massage, take extra-long baths, meditate or do anything else that you find relaxing.
Sell the ring
The engagement ring can often feel symbolic of your relationship and may hold painful memories. By parting with the engagement ring, you’ll be able to better let go of the negative feelings attached to it and recover from divorce. Divorce coach Emma Heptonstall stated, “Recovering from divorce is ultimately about being willing to let go. Letting go frees up emotional space, physical space and creates a path on which you can move forward.” Selling the engagement ring is another means of letting go emotionally from your previous marriage and helps you generate additional income to put towards your new life.
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